I forgot about this.

I honestly forgot about this blog, in all the schoolwork. And stress. And LIFE.

The fall semester just ended on the 15th. Today is Christmas Eve.

(six paragraphs were deleted from here on 12/28/09 due to the fact that I decided to keep them to myself)

Do I have any real friends? The only person that I feel I can talk to about everything is my boyfriend. He does his best not to get impatient with me, or judge me, or tell me what to do. Sometimes all a girl needs is to be listened to, and hugged, and told it will be ok. That's all I need sometimes, you know? I don't need to be told to buck up and get over it. I am a woman. Most women need compassion and understanding or they feel they can't talk to you about things any more.

I reckon I still have a couple girlfriends that I can really talk to openly. But that's it. I am not loveable or fun or social at first sight, and people do not find themselves attracted to talk to me. I am not a beautiful butterfly around which flock crowds of people, boys who want to date me, girls ho want to be me. I am Natasha. Simply. I am nothing special. I wear my emotions on my face and my heart on my sleeve. And when my face reads to people that I have a difficult home life, well, that tends to push away a person. But the few that do worm their way in regardless of that white fence I keep up around myself are very dear to me, and I hold them in the sacred place of my heart.

By the way, I got a dog on Friday. Her name is Iris and she picked me. And I don't think she will ever stab me in the back, nor will anyone love me as unconditionally as she does, seeing with non-judgmental eyes. If only more people could be as non-judgmental as dogs, think of how peaceful the world would be...